Peter Atkinson: When Mentoring Meets Coaching

WHEN MENTORING MEETS COACHING
Part Two

by Kate Sharpe & Jeanie Nishimura

In Chapter 5 of When Mentoring Meets Coaching, authors KateSharpe and Jeanie Nishimura discuss the 3 key aspects of being coach-like. The first aspect is presence, which they define as "our internal state of readiness as mentor-coaches". (98) Being fully present as a mentor-coach includes staying in the moment, being fully conscious, actively listening, being open-minded, and "letting go, and not anticipating or predicting". (102) Part of being fully aware as a mentor-coach is "quieting our internal chatter", which means putting aside one's own to do list, concerns, and priorities. In order to achieve presence during a mentor-coach/mentee discussion, it is important for the mentor-coach to clear his/her mind and "arrive without preconceived notions". (109) The authors list a number of practices that help a mentor-coach develop presence, including meditation, improvisation, and movement and stretching.

The second aspect of presence is mindset. The mindset of a mentor-coach is comprised of components such as

assuming the mentee is competent;
being inquiry based, not directive;
being non-judgemental; and,
viewing the learning as the mentee's work

The final aspect is stance, which involves 6 principles:

Inviting discovery and reflection;
Fostering awareness;
Sharing mentor-coach's experiences (when doing so supports the mentee);
Holding the mentee resourceful;
Supporting the mentee's strengths and values; and,
Collaborating

Effective listening is the topic of Chapter 6. The main distinction the authors make is between listening through and listening to. The former refers to being distracted in one's listening - a listening stance that is ineffectual. Some external listening distractions that the authors identify are other people, the environment, and various forms of technology. More subtle internal types of listening distractions include one's internal state (ie. being worried, agitated, or bored), making mental to-do lists, and connecting to one's own experiences or memories rather than those of the mentee. The strategy the authors recommend for moving out of distracted listening is to name the particular distractor(s). Once the distraction is identified, one "...can consciously move it out of the way." (124)

In contrast, listening to is deep or focused listening: "We are aware of the speaker's words, energy, tone of voice, body language and gestures, emotional expression, and so on." (127) Having a listening to stance includes, as Stephen Covey noted, "Listening with the intent to understand rather than the intent to reply." (133) Also important to effective listening is recognizing the filters and barriers to one's listening. For instance, recognizing that one's age, gender, culture, and ethnicity influence our listening as do one's past experiences and one's present mental and emotional state. Listening to the language the mentee uses is also important for a mentor-coach. He/She should attend to both what the mentee says and doesn't say and attend to language that reveals the mentee's assumptions, values, and growing edges.

Chapter 7 examines the important mentor-coaching skills of asking questions and focusing on the mentee's agenda. Sharpe and Nishimura emphasize that the mentor-coach should resist the temptation to solve the mentee's problems or supply the "right answer"|; instead, the mentor-coach should adopt an "open stance", serving as a "thinking partner". (144)

According to the authors, questions should be simple and clear, results-oriented, on target, and challenging. They also identify different types of questions that the mentor-coach should ask. There are questions that support the mentee's agenda including What do you want to focus on today? (152) and questions such as What is the result you are wanting? which expand his/her awareness. (153) Also good are questions that challenge the mentee's beliefs and assumptions such as What assumptions are you holding? (154) and questions that invite reflection; for instance, What feedback would be most valuable for you right now? (155) Questions that support forward movement and change include What are your first steps? (156) and, equally good, are questions that explore the mentee's learning edges, such as Where is the stretch in this for you? (157) Questions should be open-ended (Tell me about ...). Question types to avoid are those that are leading or suggestive and questions intended to advise or fix. (ie. How about getting someone else to lead the meeting?) (161)

An important part of keeping the focus on the mentee's agenda is generating questions from the mentee's own language. For example, when the mentee says he/she has to do something, a good response is You 'have to'? What does that mean for you? (162) In particular, the mentor-coach should learn to "...'listen for' moments when the mentee is, or is not, referring to or accessing particular parts of themselves or their [sic] situation, such as strengths, values, core beliefs, assumptions, their inner critic, and commitment." (163) A good example of such deep listening is attending to metaphors such as the following that the mentee uses: A mountain of work? Where are you in that? (163)

In Chapter 8, the authors present a model for navigating the mentor-coaching conversation. This model consists of 6 concentric circles, which represent the layers of the conversation. It has an arrow running through the circles and pointing outward, which shows the movement in the conversation from the mentee's agenda to the mentee's growing awareness of the possibilities for bringing about desired changes (learning). In the Red Zone are, first, the mentee's agenda, and then, in the second circle, his/her deepening awareness, which is prompted by the mentor-coach's questions and feedback The third and fourth circle form the proceed with caution Yellow Zone. In this zone possibilities for action are generated and explored and then the mentor-coach helps the mentee propel forward by discovering the possibility which most engages him\her and aligns with his/her goals and values. In the Green Zone, the mentee first steps up into action by "actualizing resources", "clearing obstacles", and "securing a concrete action plan" (198 & 200) Lastly, the mentee secures his/her own accountability.

The final chapter deals with feedback. The authors refer to the work of Hattie and Timperley (2007), which suggests that effective feedback answer 3 important questions:

Where am I going?
How am I going?
Where to next? (226)

As well, they reference Rock (2016) in maintaining that mentor-coaches should "...move away from ... constructive performance feedback", and instead, "...respectfully ask [mentees] what they learned and how [the mentor-coaches] can best help them to improve even further." (228) The mentor-coach should offer feedback respectfully, link the feedback to the mentee's intentions and values, and "Offer balanced and concrete observations that are in line with the mentee's desired results." (235) The mentor-coach must also "...be mindful of how the feedback is 'landing' [being received] for the mentee." (236) The authors also identify 3 approaches for mentor-coach feedback:

Acknowledging to inspire: Sharing with the mentee "who they are being in order to do what they are doing." (237)
Holding Up the Mirror to produce insight: Inviting the mentee to reflect.
Sharing observations to incite: Sharing evidence-based observations without judgement.

A key point the authors make is that mentor-coaches should also invite feedback from their mentees on their mentoring-coaching.